Never Second Best (to me); Chapter One

(Warning: Mature Themes Included)

Chapter One

"Us foster kids are always second best," James sneered at Emma from across the hall. Four year old Emma was still aching from when her first chance at a family, from two years before, sent her back and had gone to her foster brother for comfort. She had been chosen first by them, but the moment the Swan's discovered they were having a baby, she was nothing more than second best, and she realized now that they had settled for adopting her as a second best option, as James so helpfully put it.

"James," A scolding voice said softly. Emma looked up to her foster mother, whose platinum hair and kind smile reminded Emma of a sorceress, or a princess, maybe. "You know that's not true, now go get your things for school."

Emma held up her arms and Ingrid bent down, picking her up as James stalked down the hall to his twin, David. "Such a sweet girl… Like I said, Emma," Ingrid brushed Emma's blonde hair from her face, tickling her neck and making the toddle giggle. "You will never be second best to the people you are meant to be with."

"Okay," She mumbled, dropping her head to Ingrid's shoulder and playing with her silver braid.

"How about we watch Beauty and the Beast again while the boys are at school?" Emma lit up and nodded.

"Please! Belle is the best princess!"

Ingrid laughed at her enthusiasm and walked to the living room, sitting Emma on the couch, and turning on the DVD player. Beauty and the Beast began, already halfway through 'Bonjour' and Emma started singing along happily as Ingrid walked to the twins at the front door.

"Remember, boys, the Spencers will be here at four o'clock sharp to meet you. Don't be late."

"Okay!" David smiled, and his less than enthusiastic twin just rolled his eyes before leading the way out the door. David hesitated. "Go easy on him, pleade, Ingrid. This is our first chance at a family…"

Ingrid smiled. "Of course, now go on, or you're gonna miss the bus."

"Bye!" David waved as he ran out the door after his identical brother. Ingrid smiled sadly at the siblings, her own thoughts drifting to her sisters, both lost to the passage of time. Emma's cry of indignation at the sound of Gaston on the TV brought Ingrid back to the present, and she returned to the living room, sitting with the complaining 4 year old on the couch.

***

Six Years Later.

Emma was appalled. Six years ago, David and James had been adopted by Albert Spencer and his wife, Mrs. Spencer, and now, here they stood.

Except, she wasn't with Ingrid. She had a record of petty theft at age twelve, and was pretty certain James and David had moved to Maine upon being adopted, according to the last letter Ingrid had received from the twins.

But here they stood, Albert Spencer standing proudly behind his sixteen year old sons. James looked proud and smug, while David didn't give Emma a chance to blink before smothering her in a back breaking hug.

In a matter of hours, she was being led into a bedroom on the top floor of the Spencer's home in Storybrooke, Maine. David showed her around with the excitement of an 8 year old in way of welcoming, and James simply tackled her when she accidentally caught his football in the backyard. Within a month, Emma had a real home, and though she had been adopted six years after the twins, and chosen once again as second best, she couldn't even be bitter about it.

The three had an unconventional sibling relationship. James judged Emma's outfits for school on a scale of one to ten, one being 'eh', ten being 'you're gonna give all the boys boners'... He always told her to aim for a ten. David on the other hand, made her change if she ever reached a ten.

James took Emma driving in the countryside when she was twelve and a half, doing the worlds fastest seat swap when she got pulled over on the highway. David wouldn't even let her sit in the front seat when he drove.

James brushed off Emma's pain and complaints when she was sore, or broken up over a guy, or on her period. David brought her hot cocoa with cinnamon, boxes of bear claws, bottles of midol, tampons, pads, and had Beauty and the Beast playing on the TV before she could even mention cramps the day she started. He was more in tune with her monthly aches than she was!

James didn't defend Emma when guys made an unwelcome move on her. David whipped their asses into shape, then invited them over for barbeque ribs, where they guiltily refused to look at Emma unless she was tackling one of her brothers for the football.

Again, unconventional.

But Emma was also there for them. Like when James got pulled over, and was fatally shot when reaching for his licence, right in front of Emma and David when Emma was fourteen, and the twins were just passing eighteen.

Emma just remembered screaming, her own screams, David's screams. She remembered blood on her big brother's chest when she wrenched open her door and dropped beside him on the dirt road. She remembered screaming at the cop who shot him while David frantically called for an ambulance.

What the two didn't know was that the bullet had passed right through James's heart, and though he didn't die instantly, he was long gone before the paramedics reached them.

Emma had sat mutely for months afterward, ignoring her friends, ignoring everyone except David. She only spoke in the courtroom, where she testified gladly against the cop who had murdered her brother, and best friend. He was given a few years sentence.

They were lucky he was prosecuted. They were even luckier when he was found guilty. Emma had stared the now ex-cop dead in the eye while she testified, and even smiled darkly at him while the judge read off that he was found guilty, and then read off the consequences.

David found his birth mother a month later, a week before his graduation. Emma resented him for it. She resented his mother, Ruth, for looking for her sons, and finding them too late to meet them both. She resented Ruth for looking at all.

Their relationship seemed nonexistent, despite David's girlfriend and Emma's best friend Ruby both attempting to intervene and fix things. The siblings seemed doomed…

***

"Hello, love," The voice, distinctly British, startled Emma so badly she nearly slammed her skull into the bookshelf over her head. In fact, she did manage to give herself one hell of a headache, despite not breaking her skull open. "Bloody hell, are you alright?"

"Fine." Emma said, pulling herself out from under the bookshelf. "I need to stop taking refuge under there any…"

Her voice trailed off as her eyes locked on the handsome boy in front of her. Boy? No, he wasn't a boy. David, despite being 21, still had his boyish looks. No, whoever this depressingly handsome… Person standing before her was, he was definitely not a boy.

"Wow, you're hot…" She internally slapped herself when one of his eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

Get a grip, Emma! You're not a blushing 12 year old any more!

"I mean…" She silently noticed his leather jacket. "It's hot in here. What are you doing wearing so much black?"

"If you wanted me to take off my clothes, all you had to do was ask." Of course he had that whole, deep, husky, flirtatious voice that sent a nervous, yet slightly turned on, chill down her spine. "But, that's not why I'm here. Dave sent me to see if you wanted a ride home before I left."

"Wait, you know my brother?" Suddenly, he wasn't so hot.

Stop lying to yourself, Em.

She'd swore that David or James' friends were all off limits, no matter how much sex appeal dripped off them, and this guy was definitely dripping wirh appeal. That, and she had a boyfriend… But those blue eyes did something to her that had her imagining stipping her clothes and begging him to take her right there in the library.

"Aye. I've seen you before, at your family barbeques, but Ruby never let me say hello." His smile was suddenly shy, and, god, what could those lips do, even that looked insanely good on him as he reached up to scratch behind his ear. "I'm Killian. Killian Jones."

He held out his hand and Emma was glad she had the brain capacity to do more than stare dumbly at his outstretched hand. Instead, she took it and smiled, ignoring the sparks under her skin at the touch.

Static electricity, she told herself.

Liar.

"I'm Emma. Emma Swan."

"Swan." He said, humming softly. "Fitting, if you ask me."

She was definitely not blushing.

"How about that ride, Swan?" He grinned. Emma sighed in resignation, grabbing her bag and waving to the door, suddenly not trusting her own voice around this handsome stranger-who-wasn't-really-a-stranger.

And if Emma imagined Killian's head between her legs that night, then it was entirely her own private business.

Though she seriously wondered just what those lips could do.

***

Emma and David's relationship mended after that, with Killian acting as a buffer. Although the sexual tension between Emma and Killian was suffocating, and the innuendo's unbearable and badly timed ('when I jab you with my sword, you'll feel it' during theater, when they did a mock sword fight, and he had her pinned on her back) they had a strong friendship that Killian always put first over anything else, save his older brother. Emma, having lost James, completely understood when Liam was more important. They needed all the time they could get together.

And she took all the time with David that he would let her have. Which was a lot. She even forgave Ruth, though she had no reason to resent the woman in the first place, and was immediately accepted as Ruth's unofficial daughter.

***

"I'm so excited, Emma!" Ruby said, practically squealing with delight when she slammed her tray down on the table at lunch. "I can't wait until Tink posts the cast list- I mean, Beauty and the Beast is amazing! Best choice for a musical-Ever!"

Emma took a bite from her apple, totally unfazed by her friend's glee. "I think you're a little overzealous here, Rubes… It's just a musical. And you didn't even audition for one of the lead roles. You wanted to be Miss Potts."

"I know, but come on!" Ruby shook the table, causing Emma's orange juice to spill into her salad. "Tale As Old As Time is my favorite!"

Emma shook her head, pushing the tray away from her once her salad was ruined. "Definitely way too excited, girl."

"Says the girl who auditioned for Beauty," A soft, thickly accented voice filled Emma's ear. She turned to Killian, his warm breath ghosting over her cheek when she smiled.

"For Belle."

"Belle," Killian said in that matter-of-fact tone of his, sitting beside her in his usual place, "in French, means Beauty. So. Same thing."

She bumped his arm half heartedly before taking another bite from her apple and turning her attention back to the book she was reading. "You're even reading the Brothers Grimm version right now!"

"I found it in James' old stuff," She said, not meeting his eyes. Understanding was what she felt when he put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to his side, a gentle kiss against her temple. Anyone who didn't know them would have thought they were dating. Everyone else would see the way Emma's eyes fearfully darted around for her boyfriend Neal. He didn't like Killian, let alone Killian's ridiculously close relationship with Emma.

They'd kissed once, at a Valentine's party the year before when Neal and Emma were taking a break. In fact, they did way more than just kiss. It had been heated and intense, and Killian had Emma naked on the bed in her bedroom, with his head between her thighs, before eight o'clock. Killian had finally shown her what his tongue and lips were capable of, as well as his fingers, before he had penetrated her. They had lain in silence for several long moments, both simultaneously overwhelmed and not satisfied enough to stop, before Killian had very gently begun moving inside her.

They barely got past their first joined moan of pleasure when Neal had busted in. He ripped Killian off of Emma, causing her physical pain, and leading to Killian knocking Neal's drunk ass out. He had then proceeded to take care of her and make sure she wasn't more than a little sore, before dressing her and tucking her in. The last thing Emma had seen before falling asleep, was Killian dropping Neal face first on the hardwood floor of the hallway, and she slept with a smile on her face.

Even after having Killian eat her out for a good hour, things between them were never awkward or strained.

Now, a similar smile to the one from that night graced her lips as Killian nuzzled the shell of her ear, whispering to her in that sweet, sultry accent of his. "Come, love, let's check the cast list before the Princess Squad rips it down in fury and demands a recast."

Emma snickered, before standing. She had to push her glasses back up her nose after putting her book in her back, but Killian beat her to it, smiling fondly at her before dipping his head down. Her eyes widened in momentary panic, thinking briefly about how her breath likely smelled like orange juice, milk, and ranch soaked pizza, and how she didn't have a breath mint on her, before his lips grazed the tip of her nose. Her face flushed at his smug smirk, before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and grabbed her tray for her, discarding it on the way out of the cafeteria.

Sure, things were never awkward, but the sexual tension was one million times worse, and the dreams of Killian's head between her thighs were vivid, and she typically woke up very satisfied, but alone.

It was far from fair.

***

They weren't the first to the list, but they weren't the last. Killian uses his height to his advantage and pulled Emma and Ruby through to the front safely. Emma's eyes darted from the bottom up to the top.

Viktor was Lebouffe. Neal was Gaston. Tamara was the feather duster. Cruella was the wardrobe. Her eyes flickered higher.

Ruby spotted her name at the same time as Emma and the girls squealed excitedly, before Emma kept looking, grinning widely. Maybe, just maybe, she would get picked first for once.

Emma found Killian's name beside The Beast, and gave him a light punch to the shoulder, to which he laughed, before she found Belle.

All her glee vanished, and she felt sick to her stomach.

Ursula was Belle.

"Emma! I found you!" Cruella coo'd, reaching out to tap the bottom of the sheet. Emma's eyes followed the sharp nail and she fought back a wave of tears.

Belle (understudy) . . . . . . . . . . Emma Swan.

"Once again," Emma said, barely restrained tears thick in her voice. Killian found her name moments after her. "I'm second best…"

She didn't listen to Killian's protests as she broke free of the crowd and pushed past people trying to get a closer look. She slipped out the building's side doors and raced to her car. She heard Killian call her name, but she didn't stop until she was hunkered down by her front tire.

He found her and pulled her snugly into his chest. She fit like a puzzle piece against him, and the fact that he put her first over school rules brought Emma's tears cascading from her eyes.

"Shh…" He said, stroking her hair, leaning against the tire of the silver truck behind him. Emma sobbed into his shoulder as he held her, pressing kisses to her face and head. "It's alright, love…"

"Why am I always second best?" Her voice was a whimper, her tears wetting the skin of his neck as he held her tightly still. "The Swans. The Dahlias. The Spencers. The fucking musical. Even to Neal, I'm second best. He settled for me because Tamara's with Greg."

"They're all bloody fools," He said affectionately in her ear, dipping his head to kiss her neck softly before continuing. "You'll never be second best to me, Emma. No matter what, unless it's Liam, you come first."

Emma buried her face in his neck and held onto his shoulders tighter, hands shaking. Ingrid's words filled her head as Killian held her, breaking school rules just to hold her.

"You will never be second best to the people you are meant to be with."